Loved and lost.
Love does not alter when it alteration finds.
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
Close calls with death interfere with my feelings, and my path seems so much clearer now. Nothing wakes me from my dreams like the taste of fear for dieing. Death approaching so close to home makes me realize who I really love. My thoughts so clearly defined now. I just want to hold you, tell you what you mean to me. I want to walk with you through the darkness that's approaching us more rapidly each moment. Hold my hand and lead the way. Kiss me to feed me strength; Smile to rekindle my spirit, and love me to make me whole. Be with me in mind, body and spirit. Forget your past, don't worry about your future.. Live for the moment. A moment. With me.
The first cut is the deepest, try to love again..
Something inside of me still skips a little dance everytime I look you in the eyes...
And something in you skips back.
We danced anyway....
Listening to these old songs brings me back to happy times with you. I can't believe it's been 2 years now. But I listen to them, and I just smile because thinking of you makes me happy. You were, afterall, my first real boyfriend, first dance with a boy, first kiss, etc etc. That's what got me.. the dance. I'd never felt anything so strongly before. Remembering how you used to hold my hand at school, hold me and we'd just watch the stars on a blanket at the beach, insisting you loved me when I said you didn't because we were too young, calling me every day after school.. sigh.. such sweet young love. I'm not sad that it's gone though, that's what different about me and you. I wasn't sad when we broke up, nor am I sad now. I'm happy that it happened, and something inside of me knows we'll always be together.
You've remained such a good friend. Protecting me from anything that might hurt me, continuously giving me confidence in myself, and letting me know you'll always be there. It doesn't hurt that you have someone else, I'm actually very happy that you have found happyness again. Thanks for always being willing to lend a listening ear.. Thank you for telling me he wasn't worth my time and that I deserved better. Thank you for every hug I didn't ask for. Thank you for coming to my dad's wake after we hadn't spoken in months, and crying with me. You were my only boyfriend who ever met my dad. That in itself means a lot to me. When you came into my first day at work this summer, after I'd called mom crying to pick me up because I hated it so much, just to cheer me up and ask if I wanted to go to the beach, our beach.. That meant so much. Especially since I hadn't heard from you since graduation. Those 3 hours of sailing with you and your family, it was just like old times. It made me smile. If only I hadn't of been so stubborn to make you drop me off at his house.. You bought me MacDonald's because I didn't have my card.. that was so sweet. I should have stayed out with you all night like you wanted me to. Bad timing on our part. Tying up your phone line for hours again, like we used to, that was great. Prom.. you said you'd go with me if he was crazy enough not too. Why didn't I jump at that option? Bad timing again. You promised me a dance though, which I never got, but you're still promising.
Timing hasn't been on our side. It's true what they say, if you love someone- tell them. Had I have known you still had feelings for me, I wouldn't have went back out with him.. I would have tried to get back together with you. I could have easily saved myself a lot of hurt, lies, cheating, and pain. But I guess it's a combination of all those things in him that makes me want
you so bad. This is what our time a part is for, learning. I could be completely wrong. Maybe you don't feel for me anymore. But when our eyes meet.. I know you do. Eyes can't lie.
The beach.. Oh, the beach.. Just breathing in the air there, I'm breathing in a love that was.. and will be again.
I love you forever.
Some people come into your life, stay for a while and leave footprints on your heart as they go. Such a sad concept. Everyone serves their purpose on your journey through life. Some stay longer than others, but they all teach us a lesson. With that lesson usually comes hurt and pain, but if it weren't for that, we wouldn't learn. It's because of the hurt that we avoid making the same mistake twice. But the pleasure in loving someone outwieghs the pain.
When I talked to you the other day, our eyes gave away everything we've been trying to hide. Eyes can't tell past from present. What they saw was what they've always seen. But still we lie... and feelings remain dormant in our hearts.
Someday my love, someday..
