Loved and lost.
But more than anything I miss the drives out York road to Friston. I miss the panty car, and I miss the beach. I miss jazz concerts and corney horror movies. I miss hugs between classes and kisses at the end of the day. I miss my shaggy blond haired boy who cries when he gets a bad mark.
But we've grown up, and we've moved on and that's life.
Sometimes I miss him too. As much of a jerk as he was.. I do miss his compassionate side, his sense of humour, his conversations. I miss driving and talking for hours sometimes and I wonder if she makes him as happy as I did. I wonder if they do the same things we did, driving through Victoria Park and going to DQ for blizzards. Does Webber like her? Do Marilyn and Richard like her? Is my picture still on the living room table? I miss how we could cry together. I miss that feeling of aching for someone. I miss the pain. I miss the worries. I miss the doubt.
What is my problem?
I can't keep from smiling whenever I deny that I'm in love with you.
"Life passes so quickly, you've got to take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters, you'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching, for what was always there,
Sometimes it will be too late, sometimes it won't be fair.
Throw away the chains, Let love fly away
Till love comes again, I'll be okay" - Amanda Marshall's "I'll be ok"
You are the one.
The one. Never have I ever had the slightest bit of doubt. I felt crushed last night when you told me she was the one for you, but I'm still so happy for you.. That you found love again. You deserve it more than anyone. But I know what's meant to be.. and what will be. You love me and I love you, we acknowledge this.
I love you so much. Everything in my body is screaming it.
And so I continue, in the oppisite direction of where I'm supposed to be.
